I guess i haven't really written anything in a while, but my life seems to have been one whirlwind of craziness the last few months of 2010. That is why 2011 will be a fresh start for me...
Already I've realised that starting all over again is much easier said than done. It's easy to say we are going to forget about the things and people who have made us sad and hopeless (hopelessly in love, hopeless at proving yourself and just a plain hopeless case).
In real life (this is a word I really like, 'cause most of the time I feel like I live in my own head) we like to hold on to the things that make us sad and hopeless, and this turns us into even more hopeless cases of patheticness (well, it's a word now...). We hold on to these things because really, it's all we know. It's save, and even if the only feeling we have when thinking about these things are pain and failure, at least we feel something.
This brings me to the point I'm actually trying to make as I sit here at the start of a new year.
We don't see because we don't want to see...
I know what you're thinking. How the hell did she go from saying we hold on to the things that hurt us, to saying we don't see because we don't want to see...???
But just think about it for a moment. We hold on to the things that hurt us, because we don't want to see that they are hurting us! (A bit of a long intro I know, blame it on verbal diarea)
In our daily lives we do it all the time. We see the boy begging on the side of the road everyday, but do we ever really see him. An extreme example I know, but be honest, if you really did see the begging boy, wouldn't you care just a little more. Another silly example is one we see in almost every teen movie, where the girl doesn't see that her best friend is in love with her. In reality it's not because she's all in love with the most popular guy is school (most of us girls are not stupid enough to believe that rugby jock hotshot has more than 2 braincells to have a decent conversation with). She doesn't see that he is in love with her, because she doesn't want to see it! She doesn't want to see their friendship crumbling and turing to dust, because they never show us the real ending a year or 2 later when the relationship kinda just goes back to being friends who make out and has no real growth.
Sometimes though we don't see something that's been right there in front of us all the time. We don't want to see it, 'cause this would mean that you were wrong, that you would have to start all over and that you are going to cry yourself to sleep for the next few weeks. It's a defence mechanism. Non of us want to hurt and thus we make ourselves believe that our idea is the truth, to protect ourselves.
In a way it is really very smart, but it's also not real life...
We need to start to see what is staring us in the face and not just what we want to see. Sure it makes for a much more comfortable world when you can just block out all the bad, but it also makes for a person who does not see the truth. And the moment we refuse to see the truth, the beauty of the real world will also start to pass us by...
We MUST see it ALL and we must take it in and only then will we be able to become as heroic and amazing as the characters in our own minds, 'cause we are those amazing characters, we just have to open our eyes, and SEE...
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